


What is this...hollowness?

by idek_anymore_m8



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crying, Crying Keith (Voltron), Death, Depressing, Hurt Lance (Voltron), I sorry - Freeform, I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry, M/M, Realisation, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Keith (Voltron), Sad Shiro (Voltron), Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 19:59:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12801249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idek_anymore_m8/pseuds/idek_anymore_m8
Summary: Slam. Screech. Huff. Repeat.Hit. Slash. Skid. Kick. Repeat.Why is everything so cold?





	What is this...hollowness?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry
> 
> It's been a rough week with exams at school and tension and pressure and...
> 
> I felt bad for not getting out more of Code Blue so I made a little... this.
> 
> Sorry again

**_I'm sorry..._ **

Slam. Screech. Huff. Repeat.

Hit. Slash. Skid. Kick. Repeat.

Keith’s breath came in heavy puffs, his chest heaving against the pressure. He flicked his sweat-dripped hair that dangled over his eyes as he took in the mangled dismembered bodies of his enemies. Well… Training-bots.

The usual satisfaction that would flood through his veins was dry, instead Keith threw his knife to the floor in frustration as the room echoed with the closing of the program. 

“Whoa there, Samurai,” a familiar voice sounded, making Keith’s head shoot up to the doorway, “No need for such angst. But then again, it comes naturally to you, doesn’t it?” Keith scoffed at the ‘insult’, pushing his hair back with a hand, revelling in the feeling of the stale chilled air of the training room on his dampened forehead. 

With the removal of his hair-barrier, he took in the sight of Lance leaning against the doorway, smirking at him with his characteristic boyish smile.

“Very funny. What comes naturally to you then? Idiocy?” Keith couldn’t help but be proud at the dramatic choke of disbelief that escaped from a flabbergasted Lance. 

Lance raised his hand to his heart and his other that covered his eyes, dramatically leaning against the doorway as if he was shot. Keith couldn’t help the smile that tugged against his stoic lips at the spewing of a ‘horrified’ Lance. As Keith approached Lance, he began to notice that he was still in his paladin armour, the stark blue and white contrasting against his oven-baked skin. However, Keith couldn’t help but be disgusted at the attempt of ‘blue’ of the armour as it barely lived up to the beauty of his ocean filled eyes. 

He couldn’t help but be frustrated with Lance’s eyes, their serene blue that were lined with sarcasm and mirth when he laughed about a stupid pun. Or how they’d harden at the sight of an abused child, despite the fact that it was a ‘custom’ on the planet. Keith couldn’t resist falling into the glittering pools of emotions that were a clear gateway into Lance. 

As he came to a stop a few feet from Lance, he recognised an unfamiliar dullness that stilled the raging ocean of his eyes. His eyes swirled with a confusing emotion that Keith couldn’t understand. As he continued to gaze into his eyes, trying to decipher the enigma, he failed to notice Lance had asked him a question.

“What?” Lance merely laughed heartily at the confused Keith, no longer distracted by his eyes but by the joyous sound of his laughter. As Lance finished laughing, he repeated his question with unnecessary emphasis on every single word. Keith narrowed his eyes yet couldn’t fight off the small bloom of joy that twirled in his heart. He nodded in confirmation as the pair began to make their way down the hallway, away from the anger of the training room. 

Silence interrupted their walk, however it seemed to be comfortable but foreign for the usually bickering pair. Eventually, just as Keith was coming to enjoy the stillness of the walk, Lance had to open his mouth, “So… Keith-y-poo,” Keith both punched Lance’s arm and blushed at the nickname, “What got you so ‘fired’ up?” Just as Lance was about to make a pun of the use of ‘fire’ to the red-paladin, Keith managed to interrupt. 

“Well, sharpshooter,” payback was served at the look of the blush that stained the Cuban’s cheeks, however the air sobered quickly with the development of the conversation. “I have this feeling in my chest,” he began, his hand unknowingly gripping his chest tightly, “like…a hollowness from something that I can’t quite remember. Like…an emotion of failing a simulation except so much worse.” 

“Hey! Were you just using that example to try and ‘appeal’ to me?!” Keith cracked a smile at Lance’s attempted humour. Lance’s smile dropped as his face grew grave, “I don’t know what you’re going through, man. But I know that feeling well. It happened every day I woke up and realised that we were still in space. Do you know how hard it is to wake up after dreaming of my Mom’s waffles and the giggling of my siblings just to find a quiet darkness?” Keith had watched as Lance’s eyes glimmered with withheld tears, his head dropping to the ground as he spoke. 

Keith followed his gaze, unknowingly shuffling closer to him as they walked. He swallowed the lump in his throat and quietened his anxiety. “I don’t know that feeling.” Lance’s head snapped upwards but Keith continued, “I don’t have a family to go home too. All I have to go home to is a shack in the desert.” 

The corridor was still with the tension of their conversation. Keith could only feel the unfamiliar hollowness in his chest as thoughts of confusion and rage swirled uncontrollably around his mind. The emotion in his chest was on the tip of his tongue, he knew what it was but something withheld him from understanding. Frustration and anguish pumped through him, fuelling each step. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway. You can share my family.” Keith glanced upwards to a now beaming Lance, his strange eyes no longer glistening, instead staring straight into Keith. Keith was in awe at the radiation of happiness and possibility that pulsed out of his single smile. In that moment, Keith’s definition of hope merely became that image of the glowing Cuban boy with the blue eyes. 

As if realising what he had just said and the stares of awe that Keith directed towards him, Lance flushed bright red, causing Keith to amuse the thought of Lance lighting up like the red-lion. Suddenly the two came to a stop as Lance frantically waved his hands in front of him as he backed up from Keith’s stare. “I didn’t mean it like we should get married and we _share _my family! Wait, that wasn’t even implied! I just meant that… you can… cause you’re…I just…” As Lance stammered painfully, Keith’s cheeks heated pink with amusement and adoration for the boy.__

____

__

He reached out his hand and placed it on Lance’s. Blue eyes met navy. Brown met pale. He smiled gently towards the boy as to calm him. So many words were possible in that moment. So many actions were available for Keith’s selection. However, he settled for a heartfelt, “Thank you,” that he whispered. Personal for this moment. A sealing of a future promise. 

Without removing his hand, Keith began to tug Lance along the corridor, ignoring the re-emerging heat upon his cheeks as he turned away from the Cuban. As the two boys walked hand in hand down the corridor, stealing glances at one another and the occasional joke, Keith forever remembered the curling warmth that settled in his hand and his heart towards his ‘rival’.

…

The two arrived just outside the dining room, Keith laughing lowly at a joke Lance had made when Lance jerked him back from the light of the door. Keith was about to question the antics of the boy when he noticed the paleness of his face and the dullness of his eyes. Fear crept into Keith, swiftly twirling with the hollowness of his chest. He felt Lance’s hand go limp in his own, the warmth beginning to seep from their hands but Keith continued to hold on, grasping it tightly as if a lifeline. 

“That’s unacceptable and we are in no position for that kind of action!” a thundering voice boomed against Keith’s eardrums as he sharply turned around towards the noise. 

“We can’t keep waiting until you think they’re ready! We’re all sad but it is time to move on!” the feminine voice of Allura was recognised as Keith began to peek from his shadows into the lights of the dining room. 

He saw the usually regal sitting figure of Allura however she no longer looked her immaculate self, her hair instead in tangles, her hands clasped tightly together, skin pale and lined with stress. Stopped in front of her was a towering and thunderous Shiro, his hands slammed upon the table, the metal of his prosthetic groaning against the alien table. Keith had never seen Shiro so angered with Allura, causing a creep of shock and confusion to electrocute his being. 

Allura sighed, one of her hands coming to squeeze the bridge of her nose. Just as she began to apologise for her behaviour, Shiro interrupted. His voice quiet yet threatening and clear in intent, “No. You are correct.” Shiro’s body seemed to slump against the weight of his hands, his stressed hair falling across his forehead. “You are correct.” He re-iterated, “But, I won’t be the one to tell my team that we must ‘move on’.” As he spoke, his voice increased in volume and determination. “ _You_ can be the one to tell Pidge. Pidge who is no longer eating or sleeping because she is too busy trying to work herself to death. Her skin is taunt and I’ve never seen someone so young so scared. _You_ can be the one to tell Hunk that he needs to ‘move on’. Hunk who has locked himself in… _that_ … room just so nobody can see him cry. Hunk who I hear screaming and punching at night as he struggles with the nightmares that we all have. _You_ will tell Coran. _You_ can tell Coran who has lost a ‘child’ because of my failures.” Shiro slammed his hand hard against the table, causing both Allura and a hidden Keith to jump in their spot, “ _You_ will have to tell me the reasons that we must ‘move on’! I refuse to let my team ‘move on’ before we are ready! The Galra can fucking wait but my team cannot!”

The silence that echoed after his outburst was deafening, only interrupted by Shiro’s exerted breaths. Keith was confused and shocked at Shiro, no longer noticing lightened feeling of Lance’s hand against his own, no longer warm but stone cold. 

Suddenly, light sobs began to flitter through the silence. Keith watched as Shiro’s face streamed with tears, his breaths gasping in anguish as his arms shook. Keith was afraid that he might just collapse onto the table at the panic attack that seemed to be occurring before his eyes. His feet seemed to urge him to run to Shiro’s side when it was suddenly occupied by a red-eyed Allura, her eyes glistening as she clasped against Shiro’s vest, her hands moving comfortingly along his back.

“It isn’t your fault, Shiro,” she whispered so softly Keith almost missed it, “You couldn’t have known. Only he knew. He was trying to protect his family.” Shiro’s heaving breaths began to even out at her coos of comfort and reassurance.

“I can’t even face Keith,” Shiro croaked out, his eyes red as he sniffled lightly, “I can’t be a leader to them like they expected. I’m just so lost Princess…I can’t even see him anymore. Just watching him roam around the halls of the castle, talking to himself…All I can think of is how it’s my fault.” Allura began her reassurances of it ‘not being his fault’ when Shiro interrupted her once more, his dulled eyes glazed as he was lost in his own world. 

“I have nightmares of that mission. I remember Lance making a joke about Keith when he went silent. I couldn’t help but think how grateful I was that he had finally shut up. But then I saw it. The Galra canon that was placed on a nearby moon. I remember watching as it had already aimed towards our lions. I remember the noise that erupted from the coms yet it was missing one familiar chatterbox. I only watched Princess. I didn’t do anything to help. I could only watch as that self-sacrificing idiot threw himself in front of the Red Lion. His scream of pain that came from the coms and the static silence that followed after. We were all deadly silent except for Keith. At the castle, I found him rocking back and forth in his lion, only murmuring his name.” Shiro recalled the memory as if reading it from paper. Yet, each word that was spoken revealed a memory in Keith as he began to back away from the light of the door. He swiftly turned around to face Lance, his mouth opening with questions when he found that Lance had disappeared.  
Without another thought, Keith’s feet raced down the corridor, no longer caring for the shouts of his name that echoed after him. “Lance?” he yelled, his breaths coming shorter and shorter as the blanket over the reason for the hollowness began to unveil. “Lance!” His gaze tunnelled as panic settled in his chest, his heart racing as fast as his thoughts. He continued to scream until his throat was hoarse. He ran past the pool, where he managed to catch Lance without a shirt. He ran past the observatory, where he had comforted a homesick Lance. He passed the living room where he had once watched as Lance made a pillow fort to comfort him when Shiro was missing. 

“LANCE!”

_“LANCE!”_

**_“LAN-”_ **

The hangar of the blue lion was pitch black. Keith stood in the doorway, his breath frozen, his limbs aching from running for what seemed like hours. Shakily, he entered, his eyes glistening as watched as the room lit at his presence and he took in the sight of the Blue Lion. 

He didn’t notice when his knees came crashing to the floor or when the first torrent of tears streamed down his face. He couldn’t remember how his screams sounded against his already hoarse throat. All he could remember, was the pain that pulsated from his chest, a feeling of utter anguish and separation, as if he was being ripped in half like the Blue Lion had been. The lion was pierced in its body, jaw hanging limp from its socket and its eyes, cracked and empty. It lay on her side, a broken shell that had been left behind when Lance had gone. 

The hollowness of his chest was excruciating, the memory of its origins only bringing forth it’s hidden pain. 

It could have been minutes, hours, days… to Keith it felt like an eternity of spiralling. He couldn’t remember when he had fallen to the floor, vomiting and crying with pain, his limbs shaking as he clawed at his arms. He couldn’t remember when Shiro had raced in and tore his nails away from his raw and bleeding skin. Or when Shiro had dragged him kicking and screaming from the room, his lips only screeching for his lost Cuban. He missed the way the team had shown up, a hollow and broken team that had cried and screamed for Lance. When Shiro had cradled him in the corridor when the two had collapsed, rocking him back and forth as they cried together, he couldn’t remember it either. 

All Keith could remember was the coldness that seeped through his skin and that all he had whimpered five words over and over again until it had imprinted and scarred the team. He could only speak those words for the next couple of weeks as the team forced him to eat and rubbed his back as his system refused. The words that were only a reminder of the pain of those months and the hollowness that Voltron carried with them from the loss of their blue paladin. Those five words. 

“I can’t see him anymore.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry!!!
> 
> It reflected my mood the past couple days and just needed to get it out.
> 
> I'll have Code Blue chapter out by next week after my exams are done.
> 
> If you want to send me anything check out my tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/idekanymore-m8


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